To all the people who have ever looked at the password field and thought, hm, good question.

I don't even know why I have this. I don't think it has ever been viewed by eyes that are not mine and I don't make much of a case against that.

I have not been up to much. I have become a full-fledged slacker, if you discount the fact I have a fairly secure job. I like to think of myself as special kind of slacker, though. I skipped class last Friday and went to the library to study for a little over two hours. A week prior to that I had a philosophy paper returned to me with the word "pathetic" written on it and sank into a mild depression that I have not yet fully recovered from.

While at the library, I started my speech (topic: why college isn't for everyone - I had to choose from a list of options like "bowling injuries" and "fifty ways to leave your lover"), and it eventually turned into an autobiographical tale that was simultaneously self-deprecating and self-justifying. Between that time and the due date (today) I became distracted with work, other school assignments, and general slacker bullshit. So, I have elected to skip class and refine this piece of shit and present it next week, when the other half of the students are supposed to present anyway. I have two white lies to choose from: I was too sick to read a speech (I am sick, but really not too sick to do anything except not be sick), or, I was called into work and didn't want to make a bad impression my first week in a new department. I know they need extra people at work, but they never asked me to come in. Anyway, I've already justified skipping to myself. I know people who go to schools that cost 5x what mine does (I go to community college) and they just sleep through their classes, all the time. Second, I'm going to go Panera and work on my speech while I'd usually be in class. I have to get out of the house since my parents think I'll be going to class.

Oh yeah, also, if I don't get my shit together in terms of pulling my weight around the house, I'm probably getting kicked out. My ADD (I really, really hate calling it that but I can never think of an acceptable euphemism) is at an all time low (read: really bad) and I can't function from one day to the next without it obviously affecting me. I need to find a pill-happy psychiatrist who will prescribe me Adderall without all the holistic try this try that first bullshit.

On the bright side, my new department is awesome. I break up loads and put shit on shelves all day, which is exactly the kind of manual labor with visible progress I get gratification from. I get my own fucking box-cutter and work gloves. Like, I take them home with me every day, I don't have to turn them in at the end of every shift. It's like they are part of my uniform. I get to take my breaks and lunches whenever I want.

Well this is getting really long and while I shouldn't let this bother me as no one is reading, I personally don't want to go back and proofread any more than this.