With love and hate tattooed across the knuckles of his hands...

That's totally what I was thinking when this customer handed me his cash, cause he had love and hate tattooed across the knucles of his hands (the hands that slap his kids around 'cause they don't understand how...). Yeah love that song.

Ever since I read the latest issue of Bon Appetit, I've really been looking forward to making a cheese souffle. I chose today to do that, and what a waste of time. I mean, I guess I just don't like souffles. I followed the directions to a tee, and I was rewarded with a spongy, eggy mess. It made me remember why I hate egg yolks. This souffle was many things, and good was not one of them. I made a chocolate souffle once, though. Totally different story. It was really good.

I'm trying to think of what else I should do with this evening. I have it totally to myslf until 10:30. This is probably the only time this will happen until my grandmother's next surgery. So I guess I don't have to wait to long. She hiked the Appalachian trail until her early seventies, so her joints are pretty much deteriorating at this point.

I might make pots de creme tonight, or crepes. I've been into French things lately, particularly French cuisine. I'll definitely play music at a face-melting volume, and swear out loud a lot.

Oh! I know what I want to do with my life. I guess more to the point, what I want to get out of what I want to do with my life. Ideally, I'm going to be a freelance journalist and just contribute to random magazines, or be an editor (not in chief) at Nylon or a mag like that, and work my ass off so I can live in Encinitas and have a condo in Colorado. And afford the plane tickets to go back and forth. Actually driving wouldn't be totally impractical.

I have to go make use of my free time now.

It's very boring here.

I can't say I really have anything specific to talk about.

Perhaps my finances.
That would just be pathetic.

Grocery stores in Colorado carry way more varieties of Monster than NOVA (Just a note, people who live in Northern Virginia actually never refer to it as NOVA, or NoVA, that's what we call the community college here). That's because the only thing anyone needs it for here is to stay up for days on end to get all the bullshit homework done so we can earn our 94% A's. Yeah, I know a 90% is an A everywhere else. Hence Monster's selling point in this area. In Colorado, you can snowboard, therefore you can find every variety of Monster you could ever want. My trip to CO in January was the first time I've even ridden on real snow. The places to ski/snowboard around here are so bad that it's worth going across the country for some real snow, you almost don't want to bother with the icy slopes here. There are like 1.5 established skate parks, you can't surf, there aren't really any "local hangouts." You can go visit DC here. Except if you live here, you're sick of DC by the time you're eight, and you only go there now to see shows or go to the American Apparel store so you don't have to pay shipping. Shopping and going to shows are really your choices for fun.

Can you see I'm leading up to my post about my disdain for this area, specifically as a gen y kid? It's gonna be pretty decent, I promise. I should probably go exercise now. I'm getting really fat.

Apples & Oranges

I just thought of this and started to get really mad.

One time at lunch last year, a friend and I were talking about how our donuts. I don't know why. Another friend there goes, "Oh god, I hate donuts. Did you know they're worse for you than cigarettes?"

WHAT THE FAAACK. YOU CAN'T EQUATE DONUTS WITH CIGARETTES.

You don't smoke donuts and you don't eat cigarettes. One of them enters you lungs and the other doesn't. Smoking a lot gives you lung/throat/mouth cancer. Eating a lot of donuts makes you fat/get heart disease/clogged arteries. Yes, they are both bad for your heart, but so is getting stressed out all the time. You can't even measure either of them in the same units. Six ounces of cigarette smoke is way worse for you than six ounces of donut.

I just thought it was a stupid thing to take seriously. Just don't do either of them. They're both bad for you, why do you have to bother comparing the two. That friend is realy dumb anyway. Like, she thinks guys actually like her for her personality. The part of her personality they like is the stupid, naive, giggly part. And also her ass.

I have to get ready for a surpeise party.

"May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."

(Title was "First & Last Snow Day" before I changed it)
I could have titled this post just as today's date, but I'm trying to be more creative. And clearly titling it by the highlight of my day oozes creativity.

Yes, the first day our superindentent has given us off from school will most likely be the last. He gave us today off because he knew he would be saving himself hundreds of dollars in car damage. He won't have any new tires to buy, because his other one's would have probably been slashed, or a new paint job to get. On days he didn't call a two-hour delay when he really should have, a lot of students in the area got into road conditions-related car accidents, and some of their cars were totaled. How do you even spell that? I've never had to spell it. Totaled looks wrong, and so does totalled.
Anyway, the roads were totally fine to drive on around the time we would have gone to school had there been a two hour delay, so one could speculate that the decision to close schools was just maybe, slightly based on the ordeal of a student calling his house asking why he didn't have schools closed on a particularly nasty day (kid got the answering machine), his wife calling back and leaving the student a rude message, and all of this winding up on CNN.
Speaking of which, I would like to clarify, to people who don't live in the area, that three inches is a HUGE deal here. I work at Wegmans, a grocery store, and when the forecast calls for even two inches, there's a huge rush of people coming to stock up, because they know they won't be able to leave their houses for several days, not until the snow melts and they can actually get their doors open. And everyone knows the Escalade you spent half a years salary (because you have to be making at least 100k a year to live with all these great, pretentious yuppies here in Fairfax County) couldn't possibly function on less-than-perfect road conditions. Transportation is already a mess in the DC Metro area, you throw icy/slushy roads into the mix, and people really wig out. So give this kid some credit. Even some parents, who I admit can be overindulgent in this area, told their kids to wait until the roads got better to drive to school.

I would also like to take a moment to say that the simple fact that it's awkward for a heterosexual female to say "brosef/broseph" or "sup, trick" makes me wish I were a boy. Also, "bra," as in bro. These are all things I would say, were I a man. Freud says I have penis envy. Freud also did a lot of blow. We just finished up a chapter on him in psych, and he's obviously full of shit.

I think I chose Hard to Concentrate as the title for this blog because, unlike a lot of "bloggers" (I hate terms like that because old people use them to sound like they "get" people who use the internet a lot, or to emphasize they they don't get them), I have a lot of trouble staying on one subject for an entire post. It's really a struggle for me, as you can see. It's also a great song, and the Chili Peppers own my soul.

I haven't gone to the movie in a really long time. The only movies I've seen in about six months are Across the Universe and Sweeney Todd. Which were both great. I mean, if someone told me I could only choose two movies to see in six months, those would have been it, like if I had already known how good they both were. But I don't really have an acceptable excuse for not enjoying the cinematic arts lately. I think to movies I want to see most are The Darjeeling Limited (probably already on DVD haha), Be Kind Rewind, Fool's Gold (Matthew McConaughey is hot), Cloverfield (I really just want to know what is detroying everything, and so did everyone else who went to see it), and that's all I can think of. Oh yeah, I also forget all the names of the movies I want to see, so I just don't go.

I have oh so much more to bore you with, but I would like a plum now.

However! I have one last request for you. Or one first request, it being the only one I've made so far. Please check out Jesse Stutsman on youtube, under the username stealurface1976, and get him a record deal. Seriously. If you know anyone in the business who would be interested, you should contact them, 'cause I feel like this guy should be making albums.

Oh, and clearly I'm harboring some resentment toward the general region I live in. More on that in the next post, and maybe it will only be about that. Which almost makes the title of the blog irrelevant. Did you know irregardless is totally incorrect, and redundant?