17 - fin.

While there is a good chance that out of the millions of people that use the internet, zero or so will read this, I would like to say.... just, don't even look at this anymore. Suppose I were skilled at html. I would make it so that if a person stumbled upon this blog, they would be immediately redirected here. I update Tumblr very slightly more often than I ever bothered with this thing.

An Open Letter to My Philosophy Professor

"You can go under 10 or over 15 pages, but be reasonable. It is difficult to do justice to the authors' arguments in less than 10 pages (that would be about 3 pages per chapter, a ratio of about 10/1) but too much over 15 pages would make the exposition more than a focus on essentials."

Really Dr. Piscitelli? Has it truly ever been a concern of yours that a student in your Intro to Philosophy class at a community college might exceed fifteen pages on this assignment? You also express that we must be succinct. Perhaps my inclination toward brevity in essays is simply superior and I know no better, but I find it terribly challenging to be both succinct and breach the ten-page minimum you request. I absolutely respect the amount and quality of education you have received, but has it occurred to you that there are a few instances in which you need to dumb down the material to the bare bones basics to reach an audience that has only extremely rudimentary, or nonexistent, prior knowledge of the subject matter? I appreciate being lectured to as if I walk the halls of one of the institutions you attended, but it is discouraging to be expected to perform at at that level or risk failure. I have spoken with several of my classmates and I highly doubt more than half the class is capable of writing a paper that is up to snuff. Your lectures were not designed to help the student become more competent at understanding the language used in philosophy prose and gain a greater understanding of philosophical and epistemological concepts in independent study. They were themselves concept-based and while exposure to these concepts as they were meant to be presented (not in layman's terms) has given me a marginally better grasp on classical philosophy, I still find writing a lengthy expository essay on a text we have not even briefly discussed in class to be a struggle.

To all the people who have ever looked at the password field and thought, hm, good question.

I don't even know why I have this. I don't think it has ever been viewed by eyes that are not mine and I don't make much of a case against that.

I have not been up to much. I have become a full-fledged slacker, if you discount the fact I have a fairly secure job. I like to think of myself as special kind of slacker, though. I skipped class last Friday and went to the library to study for a little over two hours. A week prior to that I had a philosophy paper returned to me with the word "pathetic" written on it and sank into a mild depression that I have not yet fully recovered from.

While at the library, I started my speech (topic: why college isn't for everyone - I had to choose from a list of options like "bowling injuries" and "fifty ways to leave your lover"), and it eventually turned into an autobiographical tale that was simultaneously self-deprecating and self-justifying. Between that time and the due date (today) I became distracted with work, other school assignments, and general slacker bullshit. So, I have elected to skip class and refine this piece of shit and present it next week, when the other half of the students are supposed to present anyway. I have two white lies to choose from: I was too sick to read a speech (I am sick, but really not too sick to do anything except not be sick), or, I was called into work and didn't want to make a bad impression my first week in a new department. I know they need extra people at work, but they never asked me to come in. Anyway, I've already justified skipping to myself. I know people who go to schools that cost 5x what mine does (I go to community college) and they just sleep through their classes, all the time. Second, I'm going to go Panera and work on my speech while I'd usually be in class. I have to get out of the house since my parents think I'll be going to class.

Oh yeah, also, if I don't get my shit together in terms of pulling my weight around the house, I'm probably getting kicked out. My ADD (I really, really hate calling it that but I can never think of an acceptable euphemism) is at an all time low (read: really bad) and I can't function from one day to the next without it obviously affecting me. I need to find a pill-happy psychiatrist who will prescribe me Adderall without all the holistic try this try that first bullshit.

On the bright side, my new department is awesome. I break up loads and put shit on shelves all day, which is exactly the kind of manual labor with visible progress I get gratification from. I get my own fucking box-cutter and work gloves. Like, I take them home with me every day, I don't have to turn them in at the end of every shift. It's like they are part of my uniform. I get to take my breaks and lunches whenever I want.

Well this is getting really long and while I shouldn't let this bother me as no one is reading, I personally don't want to go back and proofread any more than this.

13

You know how there's French toast? Which is delicious?
I have improved upon it. I cannot tell you what I have done, though. I still haven't ruled out marketing my masterpiece.
That is all. I wish you a good evening.

I can't remember if I wrote about my experience at the chiropractor in my post yesterday, and I am far too lazy to check. I have a disability certificate, as it were.

So we go in and sit down. There is this lady who is clearly in training to be a cougar at the desk bitching about bloating and driving on the right side of the street ever since she got back to the States from somewhere. I'm clearly in pain, holding my beck, and she keeps on bitching.

Wow suddenly I really don't feel like writing anymore. I'm going to finish this later.

11

I come to you today from my MacBook Pro, which I procured about two weeks ago. Perhaps to the day. This is less important than my dead neck.

Yesterday around 9:30 AM, as I sat on the toilet, I turned my head to the left, not really with any spectacular speed, heard a grinding/crunching sound, and there you go. My range of motion is severely limited. I did not go to work. I got about three hours of sleep last night. Today I am either going to see a massage therapist or a chiropractor. Oh, it's also extremely painful. I think "dead" implies "numb," which is so not the case.

Now I am sitting here watching Drive Thru: (Episode says "Leaving Panama;" I know I am not watching Caribbean, and I don't know where else Panama could be) at an angle and the coffee brewing smells strongly of pee. I am sick and tired of drinking my coffee with soymilk, but it lasts so much longer than dairy milk. It's also vastly more disgusting.

I'm really not looking forward to transferring all of my iTunes files over to this new machine. It was much easier last time because I was able to use SharePod. Totally free, no file limit. All of its Mac-compatible counterparts cost money in one way or another. It's crap. The method in which you enable disk use in the iPod sounds really confusing and seems to open up the possibility of corrupting the files or the device and I'd really like to go get my neck fixed now.

Fro yo, fro yo.

Because I live in Northern Virginia, I am deprived of PinkBerry and therefore can't really compare any of its successors to it. Because I live in Northern Virginia, I was in Georgetown one day and I ambled into an IceBerry. This establishment sells nonfat frozen yogurt mixed with crack. I'm getting the shakes and I'm not diggin' on driving to any of the there somewhat local locations. I go when I'm with my friend who lives in Springfield. She is my enabler. I may suck it up and go to TCBY, because it's the only other frozen yogurt shop within fifteen miles of my house. It's not the same, though. Not whatsoever.

Things I Dispute

#1 I was reading this blog about grammer and stumbled upon my #1 word confusion pet peeve: "addictive" versus "addicting." I am pro-"addictive" and was super-pissed to find that this person was able to justify the use of "addicting" in the same context. I was, however, somewhat pleased when the author of the blog suggested sticking in "addictive" when in doubt.

#1 On a newly-aired Outback Steakhouse commercial, they claim that if you have a meal at their eating establishment, you will be "happier than a koala up a gum tree." Seeing as how the diet of the koala consists solely of eucalyptus leaves, I don't think it's too hard to be happier than a koala up a gum tree.

#3 Vera Bradley. Oh my freaking quail. Pre-Vera Bradley, you saw quilted bags with this hideous paisley print all over the place and on the arm of every female senior citizen worth her eighty years on this planet, but because they were cheaply or reasonably priced, that's where they stayed. Very Bradley came along and said, "Hm. Fucking shot in the dark, but if I jack the price up 250% on these things, I might be able to make a mint." You can not tell the difference between a Vera Bradley bag and a no name paisley bag, yet people are willing to spend $70+ on one of these things. That is a clear indicator of the fact that people think if they spent too much money on something ugly then it qualifies it as stylish. It's not even an original print or shape!

I'll have more later.

Stream of Consciousness

Normally I would discuss a topic here, but I'm lacking topic ideas at the moment, so here is a stream of consciousness post, just for you.

It has snowed about five inches outside. It is March and this is usually when we get our big snows here. I think that's stupid. It makes me want to move to Western Colorado, where snow is to be expected, or the beach, where you just don't get your hopes up in the first place.

My mom woke me up this morning. At 6:30. She had to have known school was cancelled. She told me something, but I was to angry and tired to comprehend it, so I told her there was no school and that I was going back to sleep. My dad then proceeded to speak in his deep voice, which he doesn't know becomes even more sonorous when he is trying to speek quietly. He's also heavy-footed and it sounded like an army was doing drills on the roof. Even though he was not on the roof. So I got up at 6:30 this morning.

I am not allowed to drive the Expedition farther than work and I am therefore stuck at home. My car can't handle this tragic, blizzad-like depth of snow. I bet Wegmans was insane yesterday. People in Northern Virginia can't handle more than two inches. They come to the grocery store and stock up on eggs, milk, bread, and toilet paper. I shit thee not. The day a single person in Northern Virginia finds themselves snowbound is the day I will momentarily consider not leaving forever once my finances are in order.

I have to fill out the rebate form for my new cell phone. I really don't want to. Yesterday was the regular application deadline for one of the colleges I was considering. I am now not considering it. I am only going to apply to ODU and VCU. Christopher Newport is the college whose deadline I missed. Actually, I applied but never sent in my transcript or SAT score. They require you to take core classes all four years regardless of your major, and it is a dry campus, so I doubt I would have enjoyed myself very much anyway. I am most likely going to NoVA next year to get required courses out of the way for cheap and un-destroy my GPA. Then I'll transfer to the four-year of my choosing. I hope schools will still want to see my SAT score if I apply as a transfer student. It is 2070 and my greatest academic achievement.

I will leave you with the advice that you make snow cream today, should you have access to snow. Put some snow in a bowl. A lot of snow because it will shrink later. Mix milk, sugar, and vanilla extract in a cup. Pour it over the snow and stir until evenly distributed. It is really, really good.

Incomplete

It seems that it has been a little while since I've bothered with this. I had one or two others that I preferred more as far as content goes, but I can't remember the usenames, passwords, or blog sites.

I'm not sure if you're aware what a Junior Mints Deluxe is, but it is this:

It's really not what you want, as it goes against everything that makes Junior Mints good. It is large and has a thick chocolate coating filled with a goo that I would equate to concentrated mentholmint schnapps. My mother broke one open the other day and decided she didn't want the insides, so she scooped them out with a silver grapefruit spoon. Upon wiping it off, she found that the tarnish had been removed. This leads me to believe that Junior Mints Deluxe is the first of new gastronomical phenomenon that I just now have officially coined "utilitarian novelty candies." They taste off, but to make up for it they perform household chores.

With love and hate tattooed across the knuckles of his hands...

That's totally what I was thinking when this customer handed me his cash, cause he had love and hate tattooed across the knucles of his hands (the hands that slap his kids around 'cause they don't understand how...). Yeah love that song.

Ever since I read the latest issue of Bon Appetit, I've really been looking forward to making a cheese souffle. I chose today to do that, and what a waste of time. I mean, I guess I just don't like souffles. I followed the directions to a tee, and I was rewarded with a spongy, eggy mess. It made me remember why I hate egg yolks. This souffle was many things, and good was not one of them. I made a chocolate souffle once, though. Totally different story. It was really good.

I'm trying to think of what else I should do with this evening. I have it totally to myslf until 10:30. This is probably the only time this will happen until my grandmother's next surgery. So I guess I don't have to wait to long. She hiked the Appalachian trail until her early seventies, so her joints are pretty much deteriorating at this point.

I might make pots de creme tonight, or crepes. I've been into French things lately, particularly French cuisine. I'll definitely play music at a face-melting volume, and swear out loud a lot.

Oh! I know what I want to do with my life. I guess more to the point, what I want to get out of what I want to do with my life. Ideally, I'm going to be a freelance journalist and just contribute to random magazines, or be an editor (not in chief) at Nylon or a mag like that, and work my ass off so I can live in Encinitas and have a condo in Colorado. And afford the plane tickets to go back and forth. Actually driving wouldn't be totally impractical.

I have to go make use of my free time now.

It's very boring here.

I can't say I really have anything specific to talk about.

Perhaps my finances.
That would just be pathetic.

Grocery stores in Colorado carry way more varieties of Monster than NOVA (Just a note, people who live in Northern Virginia actually never refer to it as NOVA, or NoVA, that's what we call the community college here). That's because the only thing anyone needs it for here is to stay up for days on end to get all the bullshit homework done so we can earn our 94% A's. Yeah, I know a 90% is an A everywhere else. Hence Monster's selling point in this area. In Colorado, you can snowboard, therefore you can find every variety of Monster you could ever want. My trip to CO in January was the first time I've even ridden on real snow. The places to ski/snowboard around here are so bad that it's worth going across the country for some real snow, you almost don't want to bother with the icy slopes here. There are like 1.5 established skate parks, you can't surf, there aren't really any "local hangouts." You can go visit DC here. Except if you live here, you're sick of DC by the time you're eight, and you only go there now to see shows or go to the American Apparel store so you don't have to pay shipping. Shopping and going to shows are really your choices for fun.

Can you see I'm leading up to my post about my disdain for this area, specifically as a gen y kid? It's gonna be pretty decent, I promise. I should probably go exercise now. I'm getting really fat.

Apples & Oranges

I just thought of this and started to get really mad.

One time at lunch last year, a friend and I were talking about how our donuts. I don't know why. Another friend there goes, "Oh god, I hate donuts. Did you know they're worse for you than cigarettes?"

WHAT THE FAAACK. YOU CAN'T EQUATE DONUTS WITH CIGARETTES.

You don't smoke donuts and you don't eat cigarettes. One of them enters you lungs and the other doesn't. Smoking a lot gives you lung/throat/mouth cancer. Eating a lot of donuts makes you fat/get heart disease/clogged arteries. Yes, they are both bad for your heart, but so is getting stressed out all the time. You can't even measure either of them in the same units. Six ounces of cigarette smoke is way worse for you than six ounces of donut.

I just thought it was a stupid thing to take seriously. Just don't do either of them. They're both bad for you, why do you have to bother comparing the two. That friend is realy dumb anyway. Like, she thinks guys actually like her for her personality. The part of her personality they like is the stupid, naive, giggly part. And also her ass.

I have to get ready for a surpeise party.

"May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."

(Title was "First & Last Snow Day" before I changed it)
I could have titled this post just as today's date, but I'm trying to be more creative. And clearly titling it by the highlight of my day oozes creativity.

Yes, the first day our superindentent has given us off from school will most likely be the last. He gave us today off because he knew he would be saving himself hundreds of dollars in car damage. He won't have any new tires to buy, because his other one's would have probably been slashed, or a new paint job to get. On days he didn't call a two-hour delay when he really should have, a lot of students in the area got into road conditions-related car accidents, and some of their cars were totaled. How do you even spell that? I've never had to spell it. Totaled looks wrong, and so does totalled.
Anyway, the roads were totally fine to drive on around the time we would have gone to school had there been a two hour delay, so one could speculate that the decision to close schools was just maybe, slightly based on the ordeal of a student calling his house asking why he didn't have schools closed on a particularly nasty day (kid got the answering machine), his wife calling back and leaving the student a rude message, and all of this winding up on CNN.
Speaking of which, I would like to clarify, to people who don't live in the area, that three inches is a HUGE deal here. I work at Wegmans, a grocery store, and when the forecast calls for even two inches, there's a huge rush of people coming to stock up, because they know they won't be able to leave their houses for several days, not until the snow melts and they can actually get their doors open. And everyone knows the Escalade you spent half a years salary (because you have to be making at least 100k a year to live with all these great, pretentious yuppies here in Fairfax County) couldn't possibly function on less-than-perfect road conditions. Transportation is already a mess in the DC Metro area, you throw icy/slushy roads into the mix, and people really wig out. So give this kid some credit. Even some parents, who I admit can be overindulgent in this area, told their kids to wait until the roads got better to drive to school.

I would also like to take a moment to say that the simple fact that it's awkward for a heterosexual female to say "brosef/broseph" or "sup, trick" makes me wish I were a boy. Also, "bra," as in bro. These are all things I would say, were I a man. Freud says I have penis envy. Freud also did a lot of blow. We just finished up a chapter on him in psych, and he's obviously full of shit.

I think I chose Hard to Concentrate as the title for this blog because, unlike a lot of "bloggers" (I hate terms like that because old people use them to sound like they "get" people who use the internet a lot, or to emphasize they they don't get them), I have a lot of trouble staying on one subject for an entire post. It's really a struggle for me, as you can see. It's also a great song, and the Chili Peppers own my soul.

I haven't gone to the movie in a really long time. The only movies I've seen in about six months are Across the Universe and Sweeney Todd. Which were both great. I mean, if someone told me I could only choose two movies to see in six months, those would have been it, like if I had already known how good they both were. But I don't really have an acceptable excuse for not enjoying the cinematic arts lately. I think to movies I want to see most are The Darjeeling Limited (probably already on DVD haha), Be Kind Rewind, Fool's Gold (Matthew McConaughey is hot), Cloverfield (I really just want to know what is detroying everything, and so did everyone else who went to see it), and that's all I can think of. Oh yeah, I also forget all the names of the movies I want to see, so I just don't go.

I have oh so much more to bore you with, but I would like a plum now.

However! I have one last request for you. Or one first request, it being the only one I've made so far. Please check out Jesse Stutsman on youtube, under the username stealurface1976, and get him a record deal. Seriously. If you know anyone in the business who would be interested, you should contact them, 'cause I feel like this guy should be making albums.

Oh, and clearly I'm harboring some resentment toward the general region I live in. More on that in the next post, and maybe it will only be about that. Which almost makes the title of the blog irrelevant. Did you know irregardless is totally incorrect, and redundant?